Whatever Life Brings

everything happens for a reason..

2009-01-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

I never thought this past few days that I'll be mad as hell to my significant other. He done something that made me angry and I never thought that I will forgive him. He's not perfect, I know.. but being with him for almost 5 years, made me realized oh, he's just a man.. nothing more.. nothing less.. and i loved him and still love him for that.

Maybe that certain situation happened to us is just a trial for our relationship. Oh yeah, and I always believe that desperate act that he did was not for his own sake. I always tried to open my mind and understand everything between us. I know that I cannot forget automatically that certain issue, yes i can forgive but it will takes time for me to forget what happen. I already knew why he did it and yes, I understand. And I hope someday, someone will cast a spell to me so I can really forget it and erase it. I'm in pain that I don't want to feel anything anymore..

I don't want to dwell on that certain "issue" it's too much for me. I don't want to remember what happen. We're okay now. And everything was back to normal.

To you my lover,

I understand, yes I cried and mad as hell to the point that I don't want to see you anymore but you now that I can't do it . You're one of the reason why i love my life and I don't to hate one part of it because of what happened. I know and I always believe that "everything happens for a reason and everything will be okay" Maybe it's just a trial to our relationship and because of that what happened, that made us stronger. Well, we've already surpass many trials in our relationship so what the heck.. Let's go on to our roller coaster ride called LIFE. And even though they throw us so many problems, our love can goes beyond all trials. BRING IT ON!!!!

"Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep."

updates

2008-12-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

well, i have a new multiply acct.

you read it right. yeah i have a new account. i don't know what happen to the old one. but as i've said to my previous blog in my old multiply site.. sayang... http://ladymikai.multiply.com was active since mar of 2005 and that account serves as my life. why? all my pictures, memories, blogs are posted on that site. that serves as my backup for all files that i have specially the pictures. i'm just disappointed because when i reached my 212 albums, all of sudden there's an error that i cannot upload anymore photos. my world fell upon me (exaggerated). well obviously, i'm super disapointed of what happened to my old account. and i've already sent 2 inquiries to multiply customer svcs and until now, no response. i'm just sad.

that's why i'm forced to create an alternate account for the meantime. i think it's been part of my life of sharing pictures, getaways and moments that i have to my friends and some of my online buddies. that's why my second account was born. http://japamikz.multiply.com. and i promised my self that this account will be for private viewing only. my old account was open to the public and i've been open book to everyone. i've realized that i need some privacy that's why when i created my second account i've decided that it's for private viewing only. some posts will be shared to eveyone but i decided to keep my privacy.

if my old account will be fix, some photos on that site will be shared to everyone. i'm an open book remember?! private getaways will be posted for my new site and for chosen individuals only.
i don't hate strangers. i don' care. but i don't want to be misjudge by other people just because of my posts. only my real friends and family knows me the best that's why my second account is for those people whom i know my friends..

oh well,
i just missed blogging.. ;D

sadness

2008-12-06T04:29:00.000-08:00

this week, i felt so sad..

too many bad news these week i think..

1st, when i arrived from my trip from bataan my brother told me that chase (my dog that was given on bday) passed away. i can't believed it because before i left he was okay and we played and i fed him just to make sure that he was okay (he's sick for about 3 days and we managed to gave him medication and everything). We don't know the reason why, my dad just told me that since he was just 2 mos old, he still wanted his mom and he's got pneumonia because of the weather or maybe we missed giving him the medication on time.. i'm so sad.. i promised myself not to accept any pets.. i can't manage to lose one again.. i don't to cry.. i'm tired of crying.. my love for my pets is unconditional and i don't to lose them, but i think it's never meant to be.. rest in peace baby..

2nd, oh yeah.. my "so called friend" ... i blogged about her so many times on my multiply site. one day, "i don't want to be your friend anymore" to "we're friends again" from "i don't want to be your friend again.." i don't know, may be i really like her.. she's very different.. but i cannot take it anymore... you're so full of yourself girl... we all know that you're pretty and all.. girls, boys will turn their head twice.. because you are really head turner.. but what are you doing? one day, you will be so sweet and next day snob?, then next day, flirt?! , then next day you're a girl and then you're a guy.. you're making me confuse. "i'm just your friend" i'm not like one of them.. you don't need to make an effort just to be my friend. i don't like the stare that you're doin when we are talkin... i don't want the sweet talk.. and i don't like the smile.. i hate you... i don't now what you're doin.. i don't know what do you want.. i don't know what do you want from me. i don't want misinterpret your friendship but please stop.. i'm just happy because you're there.. maybe one day, we will not be friends.. never ever..

3rd, my SO just called me today, and he told me that Piak Kim/Mama Kim just passed away. She's 12 year old persian cat. She's my favorite cat. She's the reason why i love cats.. I just can't imagine that I'm not going to see her everytime i will go my bf's place. She's the typical snobbish cat but once you will get to know her and once she got to know you, you will see how sweet she is.. i will miss everything bout her.. Her funny miao, the noodles, vcut, her puurrr, everything bout her. i just can't help but to cry while i'm making this blog.. i'm full of sadness.. i will mama kim for sure... rest in peace mama kim.

emo mode..

happy thanksgiving

2008-11-27T09:06:00.000-08:00

4 days of vacation?! oh yeah.. no work.. just plain chilling out..

i'm off to bataan (montemar to be exact) this weekend and i'm with my gurls and my bf. yihee!

so excited!!

;)

happy thanksgiving everyone!!!!

i'm in love

2008-11-26T19:03:00.000-08:00

hihihi ;)

uh huh.. i'm in love and my heart is filled with love..

i can't believe that i will be so happy like this..

i love this feeling.. ;)

**happy thoughts**

am i getting healthier or fatter?

2008-10-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

i don't know what to say, since i was a kid i was always the "payatot" or skinny kid. but as i grow older (i know I'm not getting any younger.. ha ha!) i noticed how my body change... from so skinny mikai to fat mikai that i am ( some people will say, you're not fat.. you're healthy) damn right! other people will still consider me as normal or skinny but hello?! if you'll just notice how i gained my weight.. you'll see that I'm getting fat specially on my mid section.. hell yeah. i hate it. it's just like everyday i curse myself if ate too much ( i can't control my eating... i love to eat)

i eat when i'm happy
i ate when i'm depressed
i eat when i'm stressed out
i eat when in a hurry i eat when there is nothing to do
i just eat..

Before, a long time ago, when I'm still in my teen years up to 20, even i eat like a construction worker mind you I wont gain any weight.. My weight will be ranging to 40 kgs only. Now, I'm 22 sudden change of everything.. I gained a lot of weight, my Hips is getting bigger, my thighs like i don't know!!! and my Ass is like Jollibee's Ass. grrrr! (some think as an asset but never i consider it) and my boobs? it's still the same.. small and no progress of getting big.. hahaha!

now, you'll be the judge...

the time when i'm so skinny ( that was before )

me and teejay.. that was before ( i was like a stick, no shape, no tummy, just plain skinny)

see? i told you.. i was skinny before...

i miss my body like this

and take a look the most recent photos.. see the difference?

look at the mid section.. i look like a preggy woman

small is the size of this swimsuit (this is where i noticed that i'm gaining some weight, this was taken 6 mos ago)

medium is the size of this swimsuit ( just so you know) and this was taken just 2 weeks ago

i'm lookin for swimsuit last 2 weeks ago.. and i decided to buy this one.. it's hiding my tummy and i don't look fat at this one

last week ( pansol laguna) i need to wore a cover up just to hide my tummy and needed to pose on the side.. i'm hiding my tummy yo

i got the courage to pose in front of my bf.. i'm not breathing, i inhale and don't exhale at all when his taking pic.. (nakakapagod and di paghinga!!)

now, can you tell me am i gettnig healthier or fatter?

and i hate that i love you so...

2008-10-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

" HATE THAT I LOVE YOU"

As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Rihanna:]
As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

oldies but goodies

2008-10-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

i just found out this cool website.
it's like blast from the past.. hahaha! i just tried it.. and i love it!
try it as well...

Guilty Pleasures

2008-09-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

the trench coat from belikeastar.multiply.com. too bad they don't have any small sizes..But I still want to buy one. Can someone give me a site where I can buy this one. My budget is just 1000-1500php. I'm in a tight budget! haha!

Billabong Gretchen Cranberry Hoodie is one of the jackets that my friend Damien is selling. It's authentic Billabong and he will buy it in US. Can't wait for this one!! And the price is much cheaper than Stocked Inc.

the first 5 megapixel phone cam from Sony Ericsson Cybershot family. The K850. I'm thinking and still comparing the prices, the specs and eveything. But whatever happens I'm still buying a new phone or I'll just get a phone line.. Free phone... *grin*

the new Sony Ericsson Cybershot c902 (I'm planning to buy this one.. if i have enough moohlas that I can get from my back pay ^^

isn't that yummy? It's my fave chocolate.. yum!!!

random thoughts

2008-09-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm in at fel's place today and he's not around.. he go out and play basketball.

Many things running through my mind right now. I've heard that our account in APAC which is Anthem Blue Cross of California will end their contract very soon.. which is very sad for all of us. From the crisis that APAC Philippines is experiencing, now I know why our OM's terminated a lot of agents in our account and these includes my friends.

I submitted my resignation letter last September 18 and suddenly I decided to just submit on 24 and my resignation will be effective on October 24. Now, where am I supposed to go?

Mira and I chatted on YM and she told me that she failed on her exam which is NCLEX, she failed to be a USRN which is very sad to hear. I'm planning to take NCLEX next year and one of my colleague said that NCLEX is easy. That's why I'm very excited. By the way, Mira told me of migrating in Middle East preferably in Saudi or Dubai, at first I'm hesitant because first, i don't have any hospital experience, 2nd, I don't know of i would like to work on that country and lastly, I cannot leave my love ones here. Iza and I chatted as well, about migrating abroad. She's going to Macau and I would like to go with her, just to have some experience. But then again , I realized am I really ready to leave it all behind? to go out and work abroad. This was my reason before why I took up Nursing to go abroad and earn some lots and lots of Moolahs and now I'm hesitant. Maybe I'm not ready or maybe I'm afraid to take the risks.

Now, I'm thinking about a lot of offers for me. And untilnow, I'm undecided. I said to myself that I will look for a good call center with a good pay so I don't need to go out of country. I want to help my family and to help myself as well.

I'm 22 years old, and this is the only reason why I'm not ready. Maybe I'm too young or my parents spoiled me a lot that's why it's hard for me to let go of something.. .

Well, oh well..

I'm going back watching attention please in crunchyroll.. hahaha!

** Even though I want to be a cabin attendant, I can't. I'm 5'0.. Go figure! Enough said.

Unconditional Love

2008-09-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

 Mikai and Fel (Fangshini)

She is the latest addition to the Fangshini Family.. Her name is Cheese. She is a Siamese/Ragdoll cat. I'm the one who named her. Haha! Why Cheese? Let's just say that Cheese reminds me of Cheese (my crush in my office) Oh well, she is very sweet and nice. Loves to play and eat. Just like me. hahaha!

Cloud is a persian cat. He is snob and he doesn't care at all. He is very moody. He's our first baby and I love him to bits. Even though he has a little patience with me,  he still manage to accompany me every now and then specially when Fel, my fangshini was not around.

Carlito, my golden retriever mix. He was given as a monthsary gift by Fel last September 20, 2007. He is so adorable. He is my friend and buddy. And when I'm sad and lonely, he makes sure that he will accompanies me no matter what. He loves to eat as well.

I love them so much....

first time mo?

2008-09-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep.. Poor me. ;(

I'm supposed to be at work today and taking in calls but due to some inevitable reasons, I'm here. yep, that typhoon made our village flooded and I can't get out.

Now I'm here, in front of our monitor typing non sense. I found out blogspot ages ago (the Ellen Meriam Adarna era, if you know what I'm talking) and I'm too lazy to try it. Why? I have my multiply site that I can put my blogs and I'm too lazy to blab it to the whole world what I'm blabbing about.

But just recently, I realized "I want to have my own blogspot"

Bored?

Yes, I am.

Well, I think this is good start for an online journal.

♥'s mikai